Wednesday, June 07, 2006

OMG, I'm alive!

I love my Dad. He sent me this yesterday:

Today’s date is 6/6/6, so it’s time for some fun:

666 Biblical Number of the Beast
660 Approximate Number of the Beast
DCLXVI Roman Numeral of the Beast
665 Number of the Beast's Older Brother
667 Number of the Beast's Younger Sister
668 Number of the Beast's Neighbor
999 Number of the Australian Beast
333 Number of the Semi-Beast
66 Number of the Downsized Beast
6, uh... I forget Number of the Blond Beast
666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9997856 Number of the Beast on a Pentium
0.666 Number of the Millibeast
X / 666 Beast Common Denominator
0.00150150... Reciprocal of the Beast
-666 Opposite of the Beast
666i Imaginary Number of the Beast
6.66 x 102 Scientific Notation of the Beast
25.8069758... Square Root of the Beast
443556 Square of the Beast
1010011010 Binary Number of the Beast
1232 Octal of the Beast
29A Hexidecimal of the Beast
2.8235 Log of the Beast
6.5913 Ln of the Beast
1.738 x 10289 Anti-Log of the Beast
00666 Zip Code of the Beast
666@hell.org E-mail Address of the Beast
www.666.com Website of the Beast
1-666-666-6666 Phone & FAX Number of the Beast
1-888-666-6666 Toll Free Number of the Beast
1-900-666-6666 Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts! Only
$6.66 per minute! [Must be over 18!]
666-66-6666 Social Security Number of the Beast
Form 10666 Special IRS Tax Forms for the Beast
66.6% Tax Rate of the Beast
6.66% 6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell ($666
minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)
$666/hr Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer
$665.95 Retail Price of the Beast
$710.36 Price of the Beast plus 6.66% Sales Tax
$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)
$55.50 Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments
Phillips 666 Gasoline Used by the Beast (regular $6.66/gal)
Route 666 Highway of the Beast (where he gets his kicks!)
666 mph Speed Limit on the Beast's Highway
6-6-6 Fertilizer of the Beast
666 lb cap Weight Limit of the Beast
666 Minutes Weekly News Show about the Beast (airs daily from
Midnight to 11:06 a.m., on Cable Channel 666, of course)
666o F Oven Temperature for Cooking "Roast Beast"
666k Retirement Plan of the Beast
666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
Lotus 6-6-6 Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast
Windows 666 Bill Gates' Personal Beast Operating System
#666666 Font Color of the Beast (gray)
i66686 CPU of the Beast
666-I BMW of the Beast
IAM 666 License Plate Number of the Beast
Formula 666 All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast
WD-666 Spray Lubricant of the Beast
DSM-666 (rev) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
66.6 MHz FM Radio Station of the Beast
666 KHz AM Radio Station of the Beast
66 for 6 A Beastly Score for an Innings (in cricket)
6 for 66 Bowling Figures of the Beast
6/6/6 Birthday of the Beast


In other news, went home over the weekend to see Grandpa, who wasn't doing too hot. They think it was a potassium deficiency, which if I remember my long-ago lessons on nutrition right can resemble the symptoms of a stroke. But God, he looked like hell when I first saw him on Saturday. We all thought that we were sitting a deathwatch.

When we moved him to the nursing home the next day, we found out why. Grandpa's allergic to any kind of corn product, such as corn syrup or corn starch. So what was the hospital feeding him? Modified food starch! Guess what's in it?! Yeah, feed him something he's allergic to and then wonder why he's still sick. Stellar work there, guys. So he's looking better, though when I left I couldn't apply the word "good." But heck, he was recovering from practically being poisoned for a few days, so that's not necessarily a bad sign. He was aware, at least, and with any luck he'll continue to improve. I asked him if he'd gotten enough sleep lately, and got a smile and an eyebrow waggle, which we all take as an excellent sign. The man has such a sense of humor. :)

My sister drove on the way home. Rounding a corner, she slowed down upon spotting a deer in the road. I also spotted a small, brown deer-colored dot behind it. As we got closer, I realized it was the smallest fawn I've ever seen. This guy was the size of a small dog. Oh my GOD, he was so cute! The mother cleared the road and stood waiting on the sidelines for her baby, who just stood there, apparently unsure of what was going on. So...well, we couldn't sit in the middle of the road forever. So Sis beeped the horn at him, as gently as she could.

Do you know what a fawn does when threatened?

It lies down.

Now, this is a great survival strategy in the woods, where there are things to hide under. But in the middle of the road? While it was so cute we couldn't resist going AWWWWWW, the poor mommy-deer was probably watching with horror and thinking, "Oh god, my baby is DEAD!"

The ending was happy. The baby got up after a moment, possibly realizing there was nothing to hide behind, and followed the mother away. But, geez! The poor, stupid, adorable thing!

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